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by rdw777 Tue Apr 30, 2024 4:16 pm
Cox Engine of The Month
Classic doh
Page 1 of 1
Classic doh
This Morning my partner thrust a letter from
Her Majesties Revenue and Customs office
In front of me and said "pay it".
I groaned, picked up wallet in one hand,
Phone in other and dialled.
I was answered by a real person (ever noticed
How when agencies want money they have
Real people to pick up a telephone) and I said
Hello this is Starbucks we'd like to pay some tax please.
Most of you probably realise by my general Idocy on here
That if my life depended on being serious for one second
Then Lord take me now...
There's a bit of a media storm about a certain purveyor
Of the Bean avoiding tax here at the moment/ one of the
Jolly Japes they use is buying their coffee from that huge
Coffee producer let me think of their name
It'll
Come
To me
Aaah
Yes
That's
It
Switzerland
Anyway after sputtering and st st st stammering about not being
Authorised to....
I stopped the young Lady (who breathed a sigh of relief) and
Explained who I was and that I had to pay our Employers PAYE
(pay as you earn) contributions.
After spending 5 mins identifying myself (I could always be one of
Those evil terrorists bent on world destruction by overpaying someone
Else's tax bill after all) I paid the outstanding amount for months
4,5 and 6.
The debit card payment through, I took the auth code thanked the Lady
Wished her Merry Christmas, was about to drop the phone when
She said don't forget to pay you next installments before January
The 19th. I replied "why don't I pay that now".
Here's the classic "computer sez no" moment..... Oh no you can't
Pay again the computer won't let you/ clearly someone somewhere
Should slap the computers legs......
Anyway I'm off to the pub for The Breakfast of Champions
My heads spinning already I may as well keep it going till
Lunchtime.
Her Majesties Revenue and Customs office
In front of me and said "pay it".
I groaned, picked up wallet in one hand,
Phone in other and dialled.
I was answered by a real person (ever noticed
How when agencies want money they have
Real people to pick up a telephone) and I said
Hello this is Starbucks we'd like to pay some tax please.
Most of you probably realise by my general Idocy on here
That if my life depended on being serious for one second
Then Lord take me now...
There's a bit of a media storm about a certain purveyor
Of the Bean avoiding tax here at the moment/ one of the
Jolly Japes they use is buying their coffee from that huge
Coffee producer let me think of their name
It'll
Come
To me
Aaah
Yes
That's
It
Switzerland
Anyway after sputtering and st st st stammering about not being
Authorised to....
I stopped the young Lady (who breathed a sigh of relief) and
Explained who I was and that I had to pay our Employers PAYE
(pay as you earn) contributions.
After spending 5 mins identifying myself (I could always be one of
Those evil terrorists bent on world destruction by overpaying someone
Else's tax bill after all) I paid the outstanding amount for months
4,5 and 6.
The debit card payment through, I took the auth code thanked the Lady
Wished her Merry Christmas, was about to drop the phone when
She said don't forget to pay you next installments before January
The 19th. I replied "why don't I pay that now".
Here's the classic "computer sez no" moment..... Oh no you can't
Pay again the computer won't let you/ clearly someone somewhere
Should slap the computers legs......
Anyway I'm off to the pub for The Breakfast of Champions
My heads spinning already I may as well keep it going till
Lunchtime.
John Goddard- Diamond Member
- Posts : 2447
Join date : 2011-11-24
Age : 59
Location : Leyton North East London
Re: Classic doh
John Goddard wrote:
She said don't forget to pay you next installments before January
The 19th. I replied "why don't I pay that now".
Here's the classic "computer sez no" moment..... Oh no you can't
Pay again the computer won't let you/ clearly someone somewhere
Should slap the computers legs......
Ha!!! Another classic example of incompetence run rampant. I've taught and worked in the computing industry for some 45 years and what happened to you occurs thousands of times daily across the country. Generally, I tell my students (at least those who are awake) that the reasons for "Oh no, you can't" normally fall into several often unstated catagories:
1) I'm not paid to do that.
2) I don't know how to do it.
3) I know, but just don't want to be bothered.
4) They're working on it -- come back next month.
5) Impossible, it can't be done.
6) The company bought on the cheap and got what they paid for.
Most are cop-outs. One would have to wonder why computer games with complex lifelike graphics, artificial intelligence and internet driven multi-player scenarios abound, yet it's dang near impossible to get a charge removed from a credit card. Oh well, I keep telling myself that retirement and social security are just around the corner (although, I not so sure about social security, nowdays.)
Re: Classic doh
Over here Andrew the DHSS or Department for Health and Social Security
Are more commonly known as the
Department of Stealth and Total Obscurity.
Are more commonly known as the
Department of Stealth and Total Obscurity.
John Goddard- Diamond Member
- Posts : 2447
Join date : 2011-11-24
Age : 59
Location : Leyton North East London
Re: Classic doh
"The Peter Principle" incarnate.
SuperDave- Rest In Peace
- Posts : 3552
Join date : 2011-08-13
Location : Washington (state)
Re: Classic doh
Is that like when I used to sardonically say about my company, "The only way outta this place is through the top!"?SuperDave wrote:"The Peter Principle" incarnate.
_________________
Don't Panic!
...and never Ever think about how good you are at something...
while you're doing it!
My Hot Rock & Blues Playlist
...and never Ever think about how good you are at something...
while you're doing it!
My Hot Rock & Blues Playlist
RknRusty- Rest In Peace
- Posts : 10869
Join date : 2011-08-10
Age : 68
Location : South Carolina, USA
Re: Classic doh
Rusty:
As a paraphrase, yes.
You might do a search for other "Peter Principle" examples. They are numerous.
BTW, "Peter" is the author's last name an absolutely nothing more. Relax and enjoy,
As a paraphrase, yes.
You might do a search for other "Peter Principle" examples. They are numerous.
BTW, "Peter" is the author's last name an absolutely nothing more. Relax and enjoy,
SuperDave- Rest In Peace
- Posts : 3552
Join date : 2011-08-13
Location : Washington (state)
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